Mail and news!

I'm back for another of my popular mailbag series. I should remind you that we here at Shamrock Talk take privacy very seriously and we will only ever use your first initial and last name. Feel free to send all questions or comments or prophetic warnings to blakecates2012@gmail.com

Let's dive right in, shall we?

Our first letter today is a very interesting one:

Dear Shamrock Talk,

Why do you insist on telling people that Cthuhlu isn't real? He has been on this world for millions of years. His coming was foretold. His sleep was foretold. His return is foretold. This world, like all the others in the cosmos is his and always was his. Only those who prepare their minds to his will have even a hope of quick destruction when the waves of madness infect the weak minds of those around them. Submit to Anti-Life. Submit to Cthulhu.

-R. Tork

Truth be told, Mr. Tork, I've never been one to submit and I really don't like bullies. I'm sure that you mean well, but there's only two things you can say about Cthulhu. Nothing good and he's good for nothing.

Our next letter comes from a lovely lady I met recently.

Dearest Blake,

I love your blog. You are so smart and sexy. Call me and we play Kangaroo and Koala?

With love,
I. Dee

That's a very, very tempting offer... but I am happily married. Thanks anyway, I'm sure we can be friends?

This one comes from my friend, Misty who specifically requested that she not be anonymous.

Blake,

I just wanted to tell you that I love your blog and I'm looking forward to the next time we can get together to work on our "project." Also, if you ever need some help blogging let me know.

Kisses,
Misty Kaylor

Thanks Misty, that's a perfect segue to a point I wanted to make today. Because of the incredible success of my blog (Second only to Nigel Barf's in popularity!) I'm taking on some correspondents and even the occasional guest blogger. Officially I'd like to welcome Misty as our weird news correspondent, Jen as our psychic correspondent, and Jeff as our sports correspondent. It's like we're a real news organization all of the sudden! I'm sure all of our many, many readers look forward to hearing from you all soon.

New Comics for 3/14/11

Welcome back to Shamrock Talk, where we discuss the important things that you want to talk about! Today, we're going to go over my comic list for this Wednesday.

BTVS SEASON 9 FREEFALL #7
BATGIRL #7
DEMON KNIGHTS #7
GREEN LANTERN #7
LEGION LOST #7
SHADE #6
AVENGERS #24
CAPTAIN AMERICA #9
FANTASTIC FOUR #604
INCREDIBLE HULK #6
WOLVERINE AND X-MEN #7


Looks like it will be a pretty good week for comics.

Mail call!

Welcome to another edition of the mailbag! Today we have some excellent letters. As always, your anonymity is paramount to us and we will only use your first initial and last name. Send all your questions to blakecates2012@gmail.com

First, we have a rather interesting and sad question:

Dear Blake,
Do you know who killed my brother? I will have revenge upon him! Justice will be served.
Thank you for giving much honour to my family.

-D. Peng

Mr. Peng, please accept my condolences for your loss. No, I'm afraid that I don't know who killed your brother. I wouldn't even know where to guess. If I find anything out, I assure you that I will let you know.

Next one is a more traditional letter:

Blake,
What is best in life?

-A. Mongol

I thought I would throw that question to our friend, vigilante Rival Kane:
"To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women."

Hey Rival, tone it down a notch buddy.

Finally, we have a very interesting letter from a very interesting person.

Blake,

You know, ever since I left Umri things haven't been the same and now you're saying that I'm some sort of effin' fictional character? Right... and Snagglepuss is the easter bunny. I'm as real as it gets. Always have been, ever since my birth some...(EDITED FOR CONTENT) ... years ago.

-N. Barf

I don't know what to tell you man. Life is getting a little weirder every day.

New Comics Day!!!

I'm going to start a new feature on here in which I list out my new comics for the week. Once they are read, I'll try to talk about them a bit in the comments. I hope you enjoy it.

ANGEL & FAITH #7
JUSTICE LEAGUE #6
SHADE #5 (OF 12)
AMAZING SPIDER-MAN #680
FF #15

It's a very small week for me, but it looks like it should be a good one.

I'm currently re-reading Summer Knight, book 4 of the Dresden Files by Jim Butcher.

Mailbag responses

Well, apparently my fans liked the return of the mailbag feature to Shamrock Talk. I've already had several new letters. I'm giving way Blakebucks like it's Greece!

Our first letter today is from a sweet little girl named Sadie. She wrote:

Hi, can I have some Blakebucks? I'll draw a picture of you. Here is my picture.

Isn't that nice? Of course you can have some Blakebucks sweetie. The letter will get you 5 Blakebucks and another 5 when you send in the picture. This can't possibly be a bad idea.

N. Barf writes:

I'd love to hear your thoughts on managing your own currency. Are you linking it to any other currency or letting it float independently? Are you managing your fiscal policies to maximize foreign trade, lower interest rates, make money on currency speculation or to tame inflation? There are so many things to think about, I'd like to know your opinions.

Those are great and conveniently timed questions. When one spontaneously creates his own currency for the sake of a joke on his blog, it should mean something, right? Right. Well, Blakebucks are good for a number of things:

1. They can be traded for favors. Send me a request for a favor and I will tell you how many Blakebucks will be necessary for that favor to happen. Example: Help with IDR homework, 10 Blakebucks. Kidnap a swiss industrialist, 1,000,000 Blakebucks.

2. They can be traded for information. As I am privy to lots of fascinating information via my work and my connections (or lots of free time and a Google Machine) you can bet that I can find out the questions that are on your mind. Such as: What kind of insurance discounts should I qualify for? Are the Freemasons a bunch of sorcerers? Where can I get a good hamburger around here?

3. Since they are made of paper, I suppose you could use them in the restroom...

4. As of now they are transferrable to Barf Bucks. I will buy-back your Blakebucks for a 2 to 1 exchange, perhaps Nigel Barf will be willing to work out a more elegent transference system with me.

5. As for foreign trade and fiscal policies, let me send it over to my dear friend, Gregory Runcic, Director Asian Affairs, IMF:

I have no idea who you are. We are not friends. Please stop calling me.

Well, that didn't go as planned. I'm not really worried about long term financial goals for Blakebucks, as I don't think we have long term survival goals on the planet.

Well done, you just earned yourself 5 Blakebucks!

Remember readers, all letters printed are confidential, I will not use your first name. Simply send in a question to blakecates2012@gmail.com and I'll try to get it published.

Famous people whom I have met

It's no secret that America has become obsessed with fame (no, not that Fame) and I have been asked on multiple occasions if I have ever met any celebrities... because I live in California, the natural habitat of the celebrity. Here are a few of my brushes with fame.

Geoff Johns: Comic book writer

I had the pleasure of meeting Mr. Johns at a comic book convention in Los Angeles. He is a very nice guy. He is the current writer of The Flash, Green Lantern, and Justice League.

Snagglepuss, Cartoon character, politician.

I met Mr. Puss once when I was a young man at the Great America theme park in Santa Clara. What a nice fellow. We spoke for a few minutes until he had to "Exit, Stage Left." Heavens to Murgatroyd!

Seth Green, Actor

I ran into Seth Green at a comic book convention in Los Angeles. He and I were both walking around and literally bumped into each other. Our conversation went thusly:

Blake: Sorry, bro. Hey, you're Seth Green. Wow... you are really short!

Seth: Umm, yeah man. Most people don't point that out.

Blake: Yeah well, most people can touch the top of a refridgerator.

He walked off then. A bit rude, I feel.

Steve Martin, Actor, comedian

While I was in college I managed a movie theatre in Roseville. While there, we had a promotional showing of one of the new Pink Panther movies. What most people didn't know was that Steve Martin was actually there, upstairs in the projection booth watching along and seeing the audience's reactions. He and I had a couple drinks together and talked for a little while. Nice guy... pity about his career though.

I've led a remarkable life and I'm sure that some day these fellows will be telling their grandchildren about our times together.

The End of the World

As we all know from the media, the mayans, the druids, the egyptians, the Bible, The Kor'an, and the Necronomicon, the world will end on December 21st, 2012. That's right, we have less than a year until we all die a firey or watery or earthy or starry or monstery death.

Today I will examine the facts and answers all of the questions you might have about this most important and final moment in our history.

Is the world really going to end on 12/21/12?

Yes.

Really?

Really.

Come on, seriously...

Yes, seriously.

What do you recommend we do? Panic?

DON'T PANIC. (Note the big, friendly letters?) There is little, if anything we can do. Perhaps you can pray to God, Buddah, Mohammed, or Cthulhu to help you.

Okay, I'm not panicking anymore... mostly. Where do you get this information anyway?

An excellent question. This information is EVERYWHERE these days. However one of the best and most comprehensive sources is : http://www.december212012.com/

They go in depth into all that's happening in the world and what's going to happen.

The Mayan Long Count Calender ends on 12/21/12 after having run for 13,000 years. Let me put that into perspective for you... that's 13,000 times longer than a regular calender!!!

Psychics Nostradamus and Edgar Cayce made predictions about this time.

The Druids talked about this too, but as usual, no one cares about what the Irish have to say about anything.

A famous scientist said recently "12/21/12 could be the biggest number related problem since 9/11. It's certainly much bigger than the Great Pi Scare of 1976."

The Great Pi Scare of 1976?

You know if you know...

What about Celebrities? Since they're famous, surely they have an intelligent and relevant opinion on this subject?

... What the hell are you talking about? No no no, You're right, let's go ask Kim Kardashian what she thinks about the dangers and ethics of the CERN Super-Collider.

There's no need to be rude, I just re-upped my annual subscription to People magazine and I'm worried I won't get my monies worth.

Don't worry, you still get to pay your hard earned money to get celebrity "news" for eleven months. You will still be able to read about how Tasmania Fame lit yet another hotel room on fire or how Snagglepuss might be gay. After that, I'm sure the articles about which banjo strings Steve Martin uses will be the least of your worries.

What should we do while we're waiting for the end of the world?

Live your life as you normally do. Go to work. Email your friends. "lol" about what you "<3". Who knows, maybe this whole crisis can be averted, maybe someone will realize that the answer is to do what Egon has been telling us never to do: Cross the streams.

Panicking is the worst possible thing you can do right now. Don't let fear rule your life.